“Today, Beth and Steve join us on the show,” announced the host, a cheesy grin spread like Dairylea across his face.

Applause

“Steve’s here to find out the results of the DNA test to tell if he’s the father of little Jamie. Beth says he is, but Steve says she’s been sleeping around, so God only knows who the father is.”

Boos

“So here are the results…” he opened the gold envelope.

“Steve,” pause for effect, “you are the father!”

Applause

“And hold on, this is unusual,” longer pause for bigger effect, “Beth, you are not the mother.”

Rapturous cheers.

Author’s note. It never ceases to amaze me how willing some people are to air their dirty laundry on national TV.

Read the next drabble – 50 Shades of Denial